So, I ran my first ever 5K race on Saturday. I woke up super early to make sure I had time to eat a healthy breakfast. I wanted to make sure I ate early enough that I wasn't feeling it jiggle around in my stomach while I was running. After I ate, got dressed and got ready I went to pick up one of my friends who wanted to walk the 5K. We then met my friend/running buddy Lynn and her husband there. It was FREEZING!!!! I mean REALLY FREEZING. It was 35 degrees and windier than a Texas Twister in the middle of March. Ok, maybe that's stretching it, but seriously, it was windy.
Now mind you up until this point I had been pacing about a 13-14 minute mile (I am still in the run/walk stage, more running than walking but still...pretty slow). I wanted to make sure I had a realistic goal so I decided my goal was to finish the race in 45 minutes. Ok, for those of you whom running comes easily for, you probably think that time is silly, but for people like me it's a feat. So here I am thinking "Ok, if I RUN a 13 minute mile and knowing I will probably be walking some (up the hills mostly) then hopefully I can finish in 45 minutes." Granted I didn't thoroughly calculate what my time should have been based on my average pace but for whatever reason 45 minutes is what I had set in my head.
So after waiting and waiting and waiting some more in the freezing cold the race finally begins and I am running my little heart out. Just a pitter pattering away, ok well maybe more like Ka-thump ka-thumping away but you get the drift. Anyway, as I am running I am thinking to my self, "This isn't so bad, I have really come a long way since January. I bet I've run at least 20 minutes without stopping. " At this point I am getting pretty tired, just huffing and puffing away, as I should have been since 20 minutes without stopping on a COLD WINDY day is a huge step up for me. But then I thought to myself, "Well all my 'runner' friends said that the adrenaline would be racing and that I would probably do better than normal; I guess this is what they meant." I decided to look at my watch to see just how long I had been running. You can imagine the fury that came over me when it said 11. ELEVEN? Seriously...only ELEVEN MINUTES? UGH, I am NOT loving this moment.
Ok, so I know I talk about how we ("we" meaning "I") need to enjoy the journey and how we (again meaning I) need to take time to appreciate the valleys as well as the peaks, but I must say at this very moment in time I was definitely NOT loving this particular piece of the journey. In fact, it down right sucked and I was highly, HIGHLY irritated! Again I say, ELEVEN MINUTES? Are you kidding me? I was breathing heavier than a 75 year old chain smoker chimney sweeping in the middle of August!
Then I made a decision. I decided I was going to run to the light. As soon as I got to the light I could walk, I just had to make it to the light. By the way when I say light I literally mean traffic light not some spiritual metaphor for a vision of Jesus or Angels or some such Devine Being. If I was seeing that after only ELEVEN minutes that I have MUCH bigger issues than I thought. Anywho, so I ran to the light. Then I decided I could run to the tree, then to the next light, then...well, you get the point. Sure, I stopped and walked a little a long the way (mainly up the big hill while going against the wind) but by setting small goals I was able to run much farther and much longer than I thought I would be able to when I looked down at my watch and saw that darn ELEVEN. And I will say that while I didn't see Jesus, I did spend some time having little discussions with him. They weren't anything poetic or monumental "Ah-ha" (as Oprah would call them) moments. They pretty much consisted of me saying, "Ok, God just get me to the light..."; "Ok, now get me to the tree"; "Ok, now stop the wind". And every single time my prayer was answered. Well, maybe not the wind (that would have been a very "Moses-like" moment for a not so "Moses-like" situation). I figure the wind was there to provide me with some much needed resistance training. Plus, if I can run in the wind then I can run anywhere, right?
So, I finally crossed the finish line, and yes, I did run across it. I felt so good about myself. I can honestly say that even with the wind, that was the best run I have had yet. I found my friend (who clearly finished before me, as she is a much faster runner than I am) and together we waited for our other friend, who was walking, to cross the finish line. As she approached the finish line we cheered as loud as we could. You see, Saturday was her 52nd Birthday and her gift to herself was doing this race. She had been going through a similar funk I had gone through a while back and this was her "inspiration" to get herself off the sofa and back to living.
Oh, and by the way, I finished at 40:12. Almost a full 5 minutes faster than my goal. Clearly I need to set higher goals for myself! In the meantime...:)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Want to know the best way to get inspired? Inspire someone else!
I was talking to my sister on my way home from work today as I do most days and we got on the topic of health and wellness. This is a common topic for us considering we are both participating in the Tri for the Cure in August. As we were talking she mentioned something to me. She said something to the effect of, “Deborah, I am so proud of you. You have come such a long way and while you are the same Deborah overall, you have changed quite a bit in the last few years.” Well, that wasn’t word for word what she said, but it’s the gist of it. However, what is word for word is what she followed it up with; she then said, “I am really inspired by you; you have really inspired me.” Needless to say that was probably the biggest complement someone could have given me!
The funny thing is, I remember not too long ago telling someone else how much they had inspired me. It’s almost like the trickle down effect. My sister is right; I have changed a lot in the last year or so. Overall I am the same Deborah I have always been, but I went through a pretty dark period where I drank WAY too much, smoked WAY too much and pretty much holed myself up in my house.
I had become very anti-social and was in a way almost afraid to go out. My social outings consisted of going to my friends’ house for their weekly Friday night party where I would drink way too much and then spend the rest of the weekend hung over on the sofa not answering the phone or talking to anyone. I thought I was just hung over, I now realize I was obviously depressed. Now, please don’t misunderstand; those friends to this day are still two of my BEST friends. In fact they were constantly telling me that I needed to find a life outside of them. However, I became quite co-dependant on them. Looking back I kinda feel bad, as they hardly ever got any quality time alone (they are married). I was ALWAYS inviting myself over. UGH, how annoying I must have been! While I must admit that after a few beers I am quite the life of the party, even I can see how irritating I could become. God bless those two for putting up with me for so long.
Anyway, what I realized is that I have turned a corner. I don’t have any kind of a defining moment as to when I decided to pull myself out of my rut; it’s just as if something clicked and slowly but surely my whole outlook on life began to change. I was able to let go of the negativity I had been harboring, I began seeing things that would normally annoy me as a blessing instead of a burden, I definitely have become more patient and I now loath the idea of spending the ENTIRE day laying on the sofa watching TV (I realized this on Sat when I forced myself to do just that, as I needed to rest due to the raging sinus infection I was trying to get over). Now, by no means am I saying that these changes occurred simultaneously and were perfectly planned. In fact I fought some of them. I mean I kind of liked being the cynical clown that always had a “realistic view” of the world. It made me feel smart and funny…don’t ask why, but it did.
As I was talking to my sister we talked about this past of mine and she asked me, “Do you ever find yourself thinking back to all those excuses you had, as to why you couldn’t get your health together?” My answer was this, “Yes, but I wasn’t ready then. I don’t know what makes someone ready to change their life; for everyone it’s different and each person has to figure that out for themselves.” For me, I believe that getting myself spiritually centered with God is what allowed me to find the peace I needed to get myself healthy not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well. I am definitely NOT all the way there; in fact I still have a very long way to go but I am a heck of a lot further then I was 2 years ago. I can only imagine where I’ll be 2 years from now! In the meantime, I’m still enjoying the journey!
The funny thing is, I remember not too long ago telling someone else how much they had inspired me. It’s almost like the trickle down effect. My sister is right; I have changed a lot in the last year or so. Overall I am the same Deborah I have always been, but I went through a pretty dark period where I drank WAY too much, smoked WAY too much and pretty much holed myself up in my house.
I had become very anti-social and was in a way almost afraid to go out. My social outings consisted of going to my friends’ house for their weekly Friday night party where I would drink way too much and then spend the rest of the weekend hung over on the sofa not answering the phone or talking to anyone. I thought I was just hung over, I now realize I was obviously depressed. Now, please don’t misunderstand; those friends to this day are still two of my BEST friends. In fact they were constantly telling me that I needed to find a life outside of them. However, I became quite co-dependant on them. Looking back I kinda feel bad, as they hardly ever got any quality time alone (they are married). I was ALWAYS inviting myself over. UGH, how annoying I must have been! While I must admit that after a few beers I am quite the life of the party, even I can see how irritating I could become. God bless those two for putting up with me for so long.
Anyway, what I realized is that I have turned a corner. I don’t have any kind of a defining moment as to when I decided to pull myself out of my rut; it’s just as if something clicked and slowly but surely my whole outlook on life began to change. I was able to let go of the negativity I had been harboring, I began seeing things that would normally annoy me as a blessing instead of a burden, I definitely have become more patient and I now loath the idea of spending the ENTIRE day laying on the sofa watching TV (I realized this on Sat when I forced myself to do just that, as I needed to rest due to the raging sinus infection I was trying to get over). Now, by no means am I saying that these changes occurred simultaneously and were perfectly planned. In fact I fought some of them. I mean I kind of liked being the cynical clown that always had a “realistic view” of the world. It made me feel smart and funny…don’t ask why, but it did.
As I was talking to my sister we talked about this past of mine and she asked me, “Do you ever find yourself thinking back to all those excuses you had, as to why you couldn’t get your health together?” My answer was this, “Yes, but I wasn’t ready then. I don’t know what makes someone ready to change their life; for everyone it’s different and each person has to figure that out for themselves.” For me, I believe that getting myself spiritually centered with God is what allowed me to find the peace I needed to get myself healthy not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well. I am definitely NOT all the way there; in fact I still have a very long way to go but I am a heck of a lot further then I was 2 years ago. I can only imagine where I’ll be 2 years from now! In the meantime, I’m still enjoying the journey!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
The Journey Begins...
So, here it is folks; my very first blog!
I call it Journey with a Song because that is the best way I can sum up where I am at this point in my life. I am on a very crazy journey right now that includes a bike, a pool, a VERY expensive pair of running shoes, a 45 pound black mutt named Guinness the Wonder Dog, and a microphone!
It's funny because when I decided to do this Triathlon I really thought I was just going to ride a bike a little, run/walk some and swim a few laps. But it has really become so much more. I have really begun to enjoy challenging myself beyond what I think I am capable of. Every time I think I have reached my limit I realize that the limit has been moved further up the mountain!
When I was growing up and through college I have always found new ways of challenging my body. Whether it was gymnastics, rollerblading or what became a passion of mine in college, weightlifting, I was always doing something active. Then in my twenties I began struggling with an injury that would soon keep me off my feet completely (I'll save that story for another time). However, as many of us do, I became pretty complacent in my sedentary life and I began REALLY feeling the effects of those years without challenging my body. I NEVER thought I would be someone who would become so winded after riding a bike up a hill that I would almost pass out. Yep, you can ask my sister about that, as she was there when it happened. I was at my parents' house in the Hill Country and was riding my bike and seriously became so winded and my heart was pounding so hard I actually had to stop in the dirt driveway and sit down for close to probably 10 minutes. This was a HUGE wake-up call.
So back to the Triathlon...I am finally beginning to feel like the "Deborah" I was back before the injury. It is a very slow process, as my legs STILL hurt after every run but at least now they only hurt for a day instead of 3 days. I am a VERY slow runner but I don't even care; I am simply happy that I'm doing it. This has been much more than a physical journey, it has been a mental and spiritual journey as well. I am constantly amazed at what the human body can achieve after it's been so abused for so long. And trust me I ABUSED the hell out of my body. Between smoking a pack of cigarettes a day (clearly not any more but at one time I did), gaining over 60 lbs (slowly losing now), and living a very inactive and sedentary life I can't believe I am even able to bike 1 mile much less 15-20!
If this process has taught me anything it's to enjoy the journey! Like most of us I wanted instant gratification. I never took time to enjoy the stepping stones that took me from one side of the creek to the other. I always tried to leap across it and inevitably fell in the stupid creek, got pissed off and turned around and never got to the other side. For the first time I am finally taking the steps. I am very carefully stepping on each rock and balancing myself so as not to fall in, and if I do fall in I will get back up on the rock I fell off of and keep going. This is what I call enjoying the Journey...and you know what; I think I'll sing a little along the way! :)
I call it Journey with a Song because that is the best way I can sum up where I am at this point in my life. I am on a very crazy journey right now that includes a bike, a pool, a VERY expensive pair of running shoes, a 45 pound black mutt named Guinness the Wonder Dog, and a microphone!
It's funny because when I decided to do this Triathlon I really thought I was just going to ride a bike a little, run/walk some and swim a few laps. But it has really become so much more. I have really begun to enjoy challenging myself beyond what I think I am capable of. Every time I think I have reached my limit I realize that the limit has been moved further up the mountain!
When I was growing up and through college I have always found new ways of challenging my body. Whether it was gymnastics, rollerblading or what became a passion of mine in college, weightlifting, I was always doing something active. Then in my twenties I began struggling with an injury that would soon keep me off my feet completely (I'll save that story for another time). However, as many of us do, I became pretty complacent in my sedentary life and I began REALLY feeling the effects of those years without challenging my body. I NEVER thought I would be someone who would become so winded after riding a bike up a hill that I would almost pass out. Yep, you can ask my sister about that, as she was there when it happened. I was at my parents' house in the Hill Country and was riding my bike and seriously became so winded and my heart was pounding so hard I actually had to stop in the dirt driveway and sit down for close to probably 10 minutes. This was a HUGE wake-up call.
So back to the Triathlon...I am finally beginning to feel like the "Deborah" I was back before the injury. It is a very slow process, as my legs STILL hurt after every run but at least now they only hurt for a day instead of 3 days. I am a VERY slow runner but I don't even care; I am simply happy that I'm doing it. This has been much more than a physical journey, it has been a mental and spiritual journey as well. I am constantly amazed at what the human body can achieve after it's been so abused for so long. And trust me I ABUSED the hell out of my body. Between smoking a pack of cigarettes a day (clearly not any more but at one time I did), gaining over 60 lbs (slowly losing now), and living a very inactive and sedentary life I can't believe I am even able to bike 1 mile much less 15-20!
If this process has taught me anything it's to enjoy the journey! Like most of us I wanted instant gratification. I never took time to enjoy the stepping stones that took me from one side of the creek to the other. I always tried to leap across it and inevitably fell in the stupid creek, got pissed off and turned around and never got to the other side. For the first time I am finally taking the steps. I am very carefully stepping on each rock and balancing myself so as not to fall in, and if I do fall in I will get back up on the rock I fell off of and keep going. This is what I call enjoying the Journey...and you know what; I think I'll sing a little along the way! :)
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