Want to know the best way to get inspired? Inspire someone else!

I was talking to my sister on my way home from work today as I do most days and we got on the topic of health and wellness. This is a common topic for us considering we are both participating in the Tri for the Cure in August. As we were talking she mentioned something to me. She said something to the effect of, “Deborah, I am so proud of you. You have come such a long way and while you are the same Deborah overall, you have changed quite a bit in the last few years.” Well, that wasn’t word for word what she said, but it’s the gist of it. However, what is word for word is what she followed it up with; she then said, “I am really inspired by you; you have really inspired me.” Needless to say that was probably the biggest complement someone could have given me!

The funny thing is, I remember not too long ago telling someone else how much they had inspired me. It’s almost like the trickle down effect. My sister is right; I have changed a lot in the last year or so. Overall I am the same Deborah I have always been, but I went through a pretty dark period where I drank WAY too much, smoked WAY too much and pretty much holed myself up in my house.

I had become very anti-social and was in a way almost afraid to go out. My social outings consisted of going to my friends’ house for their weekly Friday night party where I would drink way too much and then spend the rest of the weekend hung over on the sofa not answering the phone or talking to anyone. I thought I was just hung over, I now realize I was obviously depressed. Now, please don’t misunderstand; those friends to this day are still two of my BEST friends. In fact they were constantly telling me that I needed to find a life outside of them. However, I became quite co-dependant on them. Looking back I kinda feel bad, as they hardly ever got any quality time alone (they are married). I was ALWAYS inviting myself over. UGH, how annoying I must have been! While I must admit that after a few beers I am quite the life of the party, even I can see how irritating I could become. God bless those two for putting up with me for so long.

Anyway, what I realized is that I have turned a corner. I don’t have any kind of a defining moment as to when I decided to pull myself out of my rut; it’s just as if something clicked and slowly but surely my whole outlook on life began to change. I was able to let go of the negativity I had been harboring, I began seeing things that would normally annoy me as a blessing instead of a burden, I definitely have become more patient and I now loath the idea of spending the ENTIRE day laying on the sofa watching TV (I realized this on Sat when I forced myself to do just that, as I needed to rest due to the raging sinus infection I was trying to get over). Now, by no means am I saying that these changes occurred simultaneously and were perfectly planned. In fact I fought some of them. I mean I kind of liked being the cynical clown that always had a “realistic view” of the world. It made me feel smart and funny…don’t ask why, but it did.

As I was talking to my sister we talked about this past of mine and she asked me, “Do you ever find yourself thinking back to all those excuses you had, as to why you couldn’t get your health together?” My answer was this, “Yes, but I wasn’t ready then. I don’t know what makes someone ready to change their life; for everyone it’s different and each person has to figure that out for themselves.” For me, I believe that getting myself spiritually centered with God is what allowed me to find the peace I needed to get myself healthy not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well. I am definitely NOT all the way there; in fact I still have a very long way to go but I am a heck of a lot further then I was 2 years ago. I can only imagine where I’ll be 2 years from now! In the meantime, I’m still enjoying the journey!