Technology and Dating...Interesting Combo

Well, it has been quite a while since my last post and so much has happened. I went to Hawaii, went to Colorado and rode up Horsetooth, continued my training for the triathlon that is 2 weeks away and with my sister’s help began embarking on the world of online dating. Now by “sister’s help” you must know that really SHE is the one doing the online dating; it just happens to be on my behalf. She wrote my profile, weeded through the potential “matches”, emailed or “winked” at the ones she deemed good fits for me and then if/when they would respond she would call me and tell me all about them. If they didn’t respond then she would call me and say, “Well, I guess they didn’t like us…; perhaps he thought we were rude.” Seriously? “…didn’t like US…thought WE were rude…”? Yes, my friends I have become what most 30 something single women so badly want to become. I have finally become a “We”. Now forget the fact that the “We” in this case is me and my oh-so-married-with-children older sister. Nonetheless, a “We” I have somehow become.

I must admit, I quite like this arrangement, though. She is like my own personal dating assistant. She does all the hard work, the work I HATE doing. You know, the sifting through profiles, looking through cheesy photos, making sure that they meet the right requirements I have set up for my future significant other. Then as she determines which ones are my “type” (for lack of a better word), she sends off a nice little email (of course signing it as “Deborah”). It is only when they have emailed me back that I actually have to begin taking over. Now I will say I am completely new to this whole online dating thing. In fact, I’m really not sure that it’s for me. But I figure why not?

Cut to my very first phone conversation with one of my online “boyfriends” as I like to call them. I must admit I was quite hesitant to call this particular fellow, as he works in a similar field as me and I was worried that he could potentially be a client of mine. But, after doing my research I realized he was not one of my clients and decided to call. Now, WHY did I call him, you ask? Because he said he likes “independent women who aren’t afraid to call the man…” I quickly realized that is a creative yet articulate way of saying, “I am quite insecure and don’t have the gonads to make the first move.”

About 5 minutes after talking to this nice man I realized that this is NOT the guy for me. Oh, he was nice…VERY nice. However, when someone goes on and on and on complementing me about how educated I sound and how well spoken I am and how “proper” I seem I tend to get nervous. Why nervous, you ask? Because anyone who has known me for more than an hour knows exactly how “proper” I’m NOT. Don’t get me wrong I am educated and I do try to speak in such a way that I don’t completely bastardize the English language. However, “proper” is taking it a bit too far. Let’s put it this way, I have the mouth of a sailor at times and quite frankly when you start telling me how proper I am (and seem very excited about how proper I am) you have pretty much lost me completely. Reason being, anyone who is looking for a “proper” lady is not someone whom I feel I can drop the f-bomb in front of, or discuss some of the more personal topics that anyone who knows me knows I LOVE to discuss.

To be honest after about 15 minutes I was ready to get off the phone, but I didn’t want to hurt this guy’s feelings. So, I chatted it up with him for another 45 minutes listening to him explain to me how while he wears a suit to work everyday he really prefers the more casual lifestyle of wearing khakis, spending time on the English countryside and going to wine bars. To which I chuckled and said, “That’s casual?” I then explained to him that while I do enjoy a good wine bar and quite like wine tasting that given the choice between a wine bar or a brewery I would much prefer the latter and that while I am sure the English countryside is lovely (I wouldn’t know, as I haven’t been yet) that I really enjoy hanging out down in the hill country where I pretty much live in jeans and tank tops and drink beer. THAT is what I think of as casual. He then proceeds to continue complimenting me on how “down-to-earth” I am (wait a minute, what happened to proper), how genuine I seem to be, how kind and caring I seem to be. Now I enjoy getting compliments as much as the next gal, probably more even. However, this was a bit much for someone who had never met me beyond this hour long phone conversation.

Then as I finally made up an excuse as to why I needed to go he said to me, “well, I really like you and have enjoyed our conversation.” To which I am thinking, well I really am not interested; however, if this guy asks me out I’ll give him a chance. Why not right? All he had to do was ask. Now remember, this is the same guy who wanted ME to call him first. And while I am a self sufficient independent chick I still prefer the more traditional idea of dating where that man asks the lady out …yadayadayada. So, as I finally tell him that I am at the gym and my workout buddy is glaring at me to get off the phone (I was actually in my car in my garage) I say to him, “well it was nice talking to you; I enjoyed our conversation as well.” Now guys, if you have an hour long conversation with a woman and she ends it with a statement like that then just know chances are if you ask, she’ll say yes. And even if she says no, take comfort in knowing she is ecstatic at the fact that you asked. So, after I said the whole, “…enjoyed our conversation…” thing (which was practically like leading him to the water, all he had to do was drink) he says, “So now what?” Seriously, “now what”? He actually tried to put me in the position to ask HIM out? So, my response was this, “I’m not sure but maybe I’ll give you a call in a couple of days.” And MAYBE you should hold your breath.

Oh well, on to the next “boyfriend”…until then I’m going to keep enjoying the journey! J